in the past i refused to allow my mind to wander to such places, but it's becoming unavoidable. the suffering...life as a lowly serf, watching time slip through my fingers while having to "earn" resources for my own survival. i'm exhausted, constantly having to prove that i deserve to live, too. i keep thinking...what if there was a solution? maybe it's where i least expect it.
nothing has really changed. nothing, except that our suffering is more customizable, maybe? we can aestheticize our suffering, for ourselves and others to observe. we're all voyeurs and exhibitionists. we experience life through our vision and that's really it. we are no longer entitled to the luxury of sensuality. we are only able to look around as we disintegrate into nothingness.